I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
