Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just made out with a guy for $7.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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