Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize