i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
