She's JV to your varsity
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize