I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
