love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
