So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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