She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
