go do what you do best...puke behind churches
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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