the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
