You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
