I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
