I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
