He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
