Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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