I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
