Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
