This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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