We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
