I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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