...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
operation have a gay friend backfired
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize