I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
