Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
