Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
