She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
The streets are paved with hand jobs
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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