And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
