Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
