what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just invented taco cereal.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
