they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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