One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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