Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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