y did u give ur computer a hand job?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
