There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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