Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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