i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize