My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
