I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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