Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
