I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
