Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
