Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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