She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
