sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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