no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
