i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
