i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
