Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Randomize
Follow @tfln