Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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