Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
