Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
you had me at cake vodka
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
so much tequila, so little girl.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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