Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize