since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
