I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
