Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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