i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
