he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
