New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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