Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
