I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
