Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
