I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
