@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
