This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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