you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
should my penis look like a turkey
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
