The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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