What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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