Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize